Damselflies, Dreams and Disappointments

I’ve just finished a painting based upon these sketches, which I made whilst still living in a beautiful part of Kent. This was one of my most favourite places to visit - a lake and its inhabitants in my beloved patch. I loved it not just because the destination itself was beautiful and in the early morning light quite magical, but because the walk there through orchards, fields and woodland was equally enjoyable.

It’s those familiar, comforting places that I return to in times of need. I’ve been trying to move forward with my art and experiment with new techniques, papers and mediums. Sometimes experiments work and other times they fail, really fail. I had spent a torturous seven days persevering with a painting, which ended up having a date with the dustbin. I tried but failed to save it; it was overworked and jarringly incohesive.

It wasn’t so much that I had wasted seven days, but rather that I felt as if I had lost my artistic mojo. So of course I felt quite insecure and berated myself for my mistakes.

So, in order to get myself painting again and quickly, I decided to turn to a scene of serenity and damselflies.

With the ghost of my recent failure haunting my thoughts, I began an acrylic painting on canvas, something safe and familiar. I have expressed in a previous post about how important it is for me to capture the energy and life of the moment in those first initial sketches. How they help to bring life to the final painting and only through these living drawings can there be any authenticity in the final piece.

Well, these sketches aren’t ‘finished’ or touched-up. They are raw and truthful, which is imperative. Normally I would hope to transfer some of that energy to the final piece, but this time I failed.

I’m not saying that the final painting is a disaster, because on one level it isn’t. It has, however, lost the energy and vitality of the experience itself. It is serene, but static. My fears and insecurities have chocked the life out of it.

But the good thing is that it makes me more aware of how I approach that final piece; that I have to paint or draw in a way that captures the essence of the experience in a dynamic rather than static way. Stay faithful to the experience and find new ways of expressing this. That’s the real challenge….